a gift of beauty

This morning I had the rare opportunity to sit on my porch & be still.  As I sat drinking my smoothie & listening to the chorus of birds – the dog darting back and forth in the yard – a sadness struck deep down.   I’m going to miss this house.  My rose vine growing over the front door.  The shaded privacy of our back yard.  The thought that we may never have a home like this again… 

How is it that I can take a moment, a gift, and turn it into an idol that I’m in bondage to so quickly?  Why is it that when I experience deep soul rest and beauty, I want to grab it tight, lock it down & secure it for future times when I may need it.  I felt the Holy Spirit saying, just be here now, in this moment – I gave this gift to you.  I will take care of you.

I am constantly humbled by how quickly I revert to being an orphan, needing to fend for myself.  My father is good.  He has gone before me & is with me every step of the way.  He knows the desires of my heart – He made them!  Why am I so quick to fear?

All this clamoring – wasted worry.  I fret over what I cannot see & forget the one who made it all holds me in His hands.  So I’m thankful for the gift of quiet beauty this morning, but treasure that my Father loves me too much to leave me content with just this.  He wants my heart.

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